My transformation

 I was the luckiest of five siblings, as I had the great opportunity to study in a high-class police school, which at that time was one of the top 10 schools in Nepal. Our school life was similar to what it is in the west; lunch, breakfast, dinner, study, diet, many sports and also strict discipline. It was heaven for me although I used to miss my parents badly, especially, when I was bullied by friends, seniors and sometimes even by teachers themselves. During the early days, I used to cry at night and write down my pain in my diary. 

After Class 12, neither I could not continue with science nor did I go abroad (like most of my friends). I didn’t study for a year.  No-one knew about my frustration.  I wrote my poems and stories about my frustration.  I did talk with one of my friends who had a very similar story as mine.  Just a week after I had a very nice conversation about life and the future, he gave us an unpleasant surprise.  He killed himself as a result of his depression. I was stunned and speechless. ........................

Then came the earthquake of 2015.  It was a devastating and helpless time in Nepal.  There was news coming on the radio repeatedly; people from India, China, Israel were coming to help earthquake victims. This news motivated me along with some ex police school students, other classmates and friends, to start our own campaign to help the earthquake victims. We obtained financial and emotional support for our mission from Nepalese friends as well as from friends from around the world. With this support, we were able to help several villages in Sindhupalchowk, Nuwakot, Kavre and South Lalitpur.  We were able to reconstruct a primary school called “Dhotar Primary School” in Sindhupalchowk. 

It was shocking to see the pathetic life of the children. They had no toilets in their house, very little food, no sandals for their feet, no school clothes and were often subject to abusive language. Despite of all this hardship, they were happy.  Since July of 2016, our volunteer group went back to their normal life and work.  However, with the support of some foreign friends, I am still able to continue supporting the school.  Each time I return with some chocolates, pens or some books. I am heartily welcomed by all the children.  They see me as their role model and say goodbye with big smiles and say “Shree sir chittoaaunushai” (Shree Sir, please come back soon).  It is an indescribable feeling!

 

In 2004, 2009 and 2016 respectively, I attempted to obtain a visa for the US, Finland and Italy.  Each time I was turned down for a variety of reasons; unauthentic documents, unreliable sources, differences between paper documentation and interviews.  Then, a miracle happened and I received a one-month Schengen visa from the Swiss Embassy.  This was a high point in my life and I was extremely excited. I started my European journey over-excited and over-confident. ................  Con calma, I wandered around some cities of Switzerland, Germany, Italy, Spain, Austria.

 

In retrospect it is true that in my excitement I made some mistakes and was over-confident with my assumptions on the similarity of Nepal and European culture.  I had thought that Europe would be an easy destination for me to explore, as India, Thailand and Bhutan had been.  Some friends were very judgemental of me and wanted to instantly end our friendship. I am praying for them............

I went on and suffered frustration for some months. I also had some great achievements but also experienced the suffering of losing some friends along the way. My friend Maniraj, Prameshwor, Rabindra, who has helped me awaken me for the spiritual journey, told me to focus as much as possible. I started my quest of finding "inner happiness" through some religious schools Om Shanti, Pathik Foundation, Osho Dhara, however, I couldn't find a peaceful way out. Hence, I researched myself for a few months practicing meditation, reading spiritual books deeply like "The Alchemist", Bhagwat Geeta, Running through empty memoirs Patience and Love - Buddhist philosophy" (few to name), I realized happiness is within us. 

Eventually, I was able to transform myself into a content person, a responsible tourism enthusiast, a spiritual guide and a very responsible husband. Honestly speaking, I have many online friends/students with whom I am sharing the philosophy of life through meditation, spiritual practices and others. I am glad to tell you that they have invited me to see them in Spain, Peru, Colombia, Barbados, US, France.